Hubs told me once that when he gets rich he will never wear the same pair of socks twice. That started a conversation about what our indulgence(s) would be if money were not an issue. I said every time I went out to eat, I would spot someone in the place whose bill I would pay on the sly. Very magnanimous of me, don’t you think? But there’s another I didn’t add that day… When I get rich, every piece of furniture I buy will come into my house looking like it did in the store. Anybody get what I’m saying?

We bought five new items of furniture yesterday – from a lamp to a drawered sofa table. It was all delivered today. And it’s all laying on my kitchen floor taking up very little space. Flat boxes are like that. Ugh.

I have a power drill next to me (not enough strength in these hands anymore to do the screwdriver thing), the pile o’boxes at my side…. And I’m taking a break to whine in print.

I have for years been the family member who puts together the items. I remember sitting on the floor, propping the bottom rail on my foot while screwing it into the side of one baby’s crib. I have a huge computer desk which I am finally retiring and am supposed to be in the process of cleaning out that I built myself.

When our Little One was on the way, I was putting together a chest of drawers for her mother (who told me just yesterday that when she was little she always thought we were saying “chester drawers”). It was late and my son came through and offered to help. Poor kid. Never saw it coming. By the time it was over, we had exhausted the house supply of caffeine, watched a full movie and the George Harrison tribute concert, worn blisters where none had ever been before, and come as close as we ever will to cussing in front of each other. To this day, all you have to say to him is “retention screws” and he twitches violently.

It’s the only way I can afford furniture at this point, but why oh why: Why doesn’t someone who speaks English get to translate the directions? Why are there fewer and fewer words and more pictures? Why do those pictures look upside down or sideways? Why do the pictures not look like the items in the package? And really…. Why is it THAT much cheaper to spend all that time and manpower packaging up the parts and shipping them rather than just putting the parts together and shipping them?

And I’m sure my family is currently wondering: Why is she typing when there are furniture guts strewn all over the house?

Sigh. I wonder if we have that George Harrison concert on video?


2 thoughts on ““Whoa!” Wednesday

  1. Linda I am so proud of you makes my heart flutter proud. You know why because those instrustions are in a diffrent lanaguage, the best I can do is get it all out sit down turn everything around a few times and then yell Randy. I am with you If I get rich its coming straight from the store and of course paying for someones else meal is great also.

  2. I so feel your pain!!!! I bought some shelves for the preschool. Opened the boxes, finally found the directions. They were written in some obscure Chinese dialect. Even the pictures were in another langauge!!!! Oh, and do you have parts left over when you’re finished or is that just me!!!

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