Someone I love very much is getting married today. I can’t be there, so my heart is divided between here and hundreds of miles away. I feel connected to her in a way that I’ve never been before. It feels quite literally like part of my heart is missing today – operating only in that other place, watching her.
This is not her first wedding. Or his. So what’s the big deal? I’ve known her her entire life. I’ve known those others weddings. But this is different. As I’ve talked to her across the miles, my old heart has picked up a buzzing from somewhere. Curious, I’ve puzzled and waited and watched and listened. She’s….different somehow. Strange to call a grown woman “mature,” but there is a different type of maturity. Her voice has changed – her tone. Strange….
I believe they call that love. But more than love. What I hear and see with my mind’s eye and my heart is, simply put, security. There’s an element to this relationship that has been missing in her prior life. I knew it the first time she asked me to pray about it. I confirmed it the first time she told me they were praying together.
God and I chatted about that this morning as I was whining again about being here and not there, the weather – dreary, gray, and misting – mimicking my mood. We decided that what I see reflected in the two of them is the difference between loving God because He’s God and that’s what we do, or loving God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, with all your strength. It’s a depth of relationship rather than a surface feeling. More simply, it’s relationship rather than feeling. These two have that together, I believe.
Which means that for the first time in her life I can relax a little. She will be taken care of – a luxury she has never been allowed before.
I’m picturing her now walking up the aisle, her dress white and pristine, the flowers quivering a bit in her nervous hands. Up ahead is her groom, his darting eyes finally relaxing, settling on her as she appears in the aisle. His eyes well up a bit as he watches her approach. Then she’s at the front, the two of them gazing only at each other and forgetting there are witnesses and forgetting about those missing as they enter this new realm together, the only Witness they’re concerned about already having given His approval and blessing.
It may be another wedding, but it’s her first marriage.
God bless you two…even more.