All that to avoid using the word “sucks” in the title.
But it does. Sometimes life just hurts, is infuriating, seems too frustrating to bear. Or all of the above.
Where’s a girl to go when that happens? Those days when there’s nothing to do but curl up in bed and try to sleep it off like a bad headache? Those days when your insides feel numb and your brain refuses to focus? When One. More. Sound. will put you right over the edge?
Those are the days when I wish one of our beloved dogs wasn’t part labrador. I would love to — sometimes need to — shout at him to get his nose off my arm or his rear off my foot or to simply stop looking so dern sweet and happy. But he’s a lab and so tenderhearted I can’t add the responsibility of his heartbreak and rejection to my distress.
Some people, I am well aware, take their pain to their best friend. They have an SOS text code for “Meet me at Starbucks NOW,” or “Let yourself in and bring chocolate.” Rescue is imminent, the partner putting aside her own brand of misery for a moment, buoyed by your need.
But then there’s me and others like me. An appropriate subheading for this piece might have been:
“I’m Not in the Market for a Mizpah Necklace”
“I’ll Just Keep Both BFF Stuffed Hugging Bears”
I’m honestly not whining. But when someone is in that kind of emotional pain, being bestfriendless makes it seem that much more dire and hopeless. And endless.
Having just endured more than one day like that, I was especially perked up when my sweet eldest handed me a month-long devotional from her church. In it, the author referred to the Holy Spirit as his “best friend.”
God loves me. Jesus died for me. I am devoted fully to them both. Yet it hit me – what do I truly know about the Holy Spirit as a person of the Trinity? Certainly not enough to be comfortable calling Him my best friend.
But…oh…to be in that place! To know my BFF was right there, always, not even needing to be texted or beckoned but just… welcomed.
And just like that, I have a new focus: Get to truly know this Best Friend who has been patiently waiting for me to do so. But my delay has not kept Him away or inactive or even silent. He is already part of my reality. We’ve had a relationship all along. Like most of my life, it’s not God finally doing the God Stuff, it’s me finally getting it. I need to be more active in developing – or maybe simply recognizing – our friendship.
So I lift my droopy chin, scratch that lab behind his ever-present ear, and bask in it awhile… I have a best friend. And not just any best friend. I have a perfect, infallible, ever-present best friend. I can’t wait to learn more about Him.
And I don’t even need to buy Him a Mizpah necklace. Or a latte.